Welcome to another eTard guide! Today we’re looking at dying Mongolian gerbils.
Are you fed up of your Pink Eyed White being white all the time? Or how about that Argente Gold, surely she could do with some lowlights?
Fear not, for the eTard guide is here to help, with the assistance of Professor Gerbil!
Firstly, take a look at the gerbil you want to dye. If he or she is a dark colour, like black, you will get more of a tint than a dye, so make sure to go for a brighter colour like red or purple. If you have a paler coated gerbil such as PEW, LCP Golden Agouti, etc., you’re free to experiment however you’d like.
Make sure you have plenty of dye! You can always dip the gerbil (by holding the tail securely) in a bucket of paint, hair dye or use food dye.
If you are able to sedate or hold down the gerbil, this makes the job much more easier. A good thwack with a slipper often has the desired effect.
Fortunately, our very own Prof. Gerbil was more than willing to be dyed, for the sake of science. (and we gave him a haircut too!)
Even if he isn’t keen on the colour that was chosen. Oh well!
With dying your pet gerbils, a whole new world of coloured pets opens up! Why the gerbil societies never bothered opening a pink/blue/polka dot show class for their competitions I’ll never know.
You will need to reapply the new colour as the gerbil or his friends will eventually groom it off, so keep stocked up, or else that boring Argente, BEW or Apricot may reappear!
In all seriousness though, if you’re tempted to dye your gerbil’s coat for a show (especially with the paler coats like the PEW), why not try actually cleaning their bedding once in a while?
Dying a light gerbil’s coat is effectively cheating, and quite honestly if you can’t be arsed to clean them out regularly to keep their coats naturally clean and blemish-free, then you don’t deserve to win. Simple as. It’s like squishing yourself into a corset and piling on make-up to win Miss Oh-look-at-me-this-year (oh wait, they do!).
Not only that, but putting peroxide on your gerbils is unethical and life threatening, especially if they or their tankmate decide to lick that strange smelling patch of fur clean while your back is turned.
And dying your gerbil’s coat in order to diffentiate between pups or similar looking siblings is safe, so long as you use a dot of non-toxic food dye – no tippex, wall paint, car paint, model paint, biro or highlighters (or if you have to use these, see the eTard guide to Pet Rocks and lock yourself into the local pillory).
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